God has done amazing things, and even sitting here writing this, I can't fathom all of the ways that he has opened doors for his love to be shown. I had a chance to go to Africa and spread the gospel, and people think that it is this act within itself that is what would be most life impacting. Not even. It's a whole lot deeper.
This journey starts January 1st. I went to Radiate with Cru, and after finding out about the trip to "Sam's Place", I knew without a doubt that God was calling me to go to this place. I have never been so sure of anything in my life, and honestly, it was terrifying. I was, and still am, on recovery road as far as my life goes. I wasn't ready for something like this. In many ways, I still feel that way, after the trip is already over. I was so sure of this, that I called my parents and immediately told them the plan. And it really isn't until I look at it from a retrospective view that I see how crazy that was, because God was already paving the road. I see it like this; I had never really heard God give me an order as clear as that. Ever. It was like a friend telling you he needs a favor. And I didn't want to. It's easy to play face and be excited, but on the inside, I was counting the things that could go wrong over the things that could go right. But God was, and is, just getting started.
$5,000. There's no way. It's a lot of money, and with this limited amount of time, you just can't do it.
So many people said those words. Want to know what God said?
Here you go.
It came down to the final weeks, and God delivered in abundance. It's crazy. You hear of God giving bread to 5000, or walking on water. You always hear these great acts. This to me was just as profound as those. This past semester, God has been telling me that He is going to move mountains. Even writing this, and seeing things I did not even notice, I see that it is so very true. God moved mountains for this trip. But it's deeper than that; He moved mountains in me. I know that sounds as cheesy as an after school special, but it's more true than I can even describe. Keep in mind that all of this is before the trip. He was moving mountains in me before I left, but they seem like pebbles after this trip.
There are so many things that I wish I could tell you about the trip. I have to keep silent about many things for security reasons, because it was a closed trip, so the things that I can really go into is limited. That being said, what I can say is that God 100% broke me. He tore me down literally brick by brick from who I was when I left. Sam's place is predominately muslim. I never knew that much about the muslim faith or its people, but I can honestly say that in many ways, they put me to shame. I have never, in my life, EVER met people as hospitable and kind. Part of it is the country's culture, but the majority of it was their faith. It's a far cry from what you expect it to be. I mean, and this is no joke, people would throw themselves in front of a bus if they thought it would make you happy. If you go to someone's house and say, "That's a nice picture", they will wrap it up and give it to you right there. No exaggeration.
I'm sorry, what? Aren't WE supposed to be the ones like that? Aren't WE supposed to be the ones who show unconditional love to anyone who we pass, and open our doors to everybody? What is this? Think about that for a second. Don't just pass it by saying, "Oh, that's cool". Seriously think about how wrong this picture is. Our God, the God of love, who gave his Son to die for us because He loves us so much, has people who aren't showing as much love as the people who believe that God has no reason to love them?? Where is this logic? And more importantly, what have I been doing with my Love? Because it certainly isn't that.
Like I said, brick by brick. And to put it in a deeper perspective, that is one brick. Just one. He moved the wall of China in my heart. I give just one more example, because I could literally tell every single story, but I would be here for a week typing. But one more to drive it home.
When you go on a trip like this, what is it that you expect to do? Spreading the gospel is a fair bet, because after all, it is a mission trip, and that's what happens on these trips, right?
Not so much.
See, the ground in Sam's Place is not good. Honestly. It's illegal to spread the gospel, and if you throw in people who are just as strong in their faith, to vast misconceptions about Jesus, it is just not easy ground. It takes on average seven years for a muslim to turn to Christianity. Six weeks? It is not seven years. I was able to have three good spiritual conversations. Only three. And people may say, "Hey, that's three conversations". This is true, but perspective takes place.
That's what the average city streets were like. See all those people? They Don't know Christ. In their current state, simply put, they are going to hell.
so, perspective take place. Three conversations. That's it. It made me want to curl in a ball and die. I felt like such a failure. But this leads to one of the most incredible things that learned on this trip. This will stick with me until the day I die.
It's not what you are doing. It's who you are being.
There are things about the trip, people, images, friends, and events that will be forever burned into my brain. I will always wonder what happened to those people. But in the end, it is by God's grace that I am here, so I know they are not beyond reach. God's love and grace is unfathomable. I will never understand it until He calls me home. But I caught a glimpse of His love in a way that I never had on this trip. And I tell you now, it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I know that all of these people can know the truth of Christ's love. And I know that it won't be easy, but God has done bigger things. A lot of people say it won't happen. But I know it will. I know it may seem like I'm trying to love a dream, but if that's the case I'll be sleepwalking until the day I die.
So how can I pick up where you left off? How can I pick up the mantle of a life that is a far cry from what it used to be?
Life goes on. Things continue to move in forward motion, including myself. Even being home for a week, I continue to see this World in a different light. And the crazy thing to me? This summer is only half over.
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