Good and Faithful Servant

It's a hard thing, discovering how much of your faith is talk. When the rubber hits the road; that's when you find out what God really means to you, and where He stands in your life. 

Fall retreat last year. Things changed for me. I had known about God, but never really known him. Not REALLY known him. I thought I did. But as you know, just because you think it, doesn't mean it's true. It was there that I discovered what God really meant to me, and I caught a small, tiny, minuscule sliver of how much He loved me, and it was entirely overwhelming. 

As I wrestled with my thoughts, and was discovering what my faith looked like through Christ, I discovered a passage that changed things. Matthew 25:14-28. 

"Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.

"After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.'

"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

"The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.'

"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.'

"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

" 'Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'

With this, came a thought: What would be more amazing than to go home to Christ, and hear him say "Well done, my good and faithful servant"? 

So for roughly a year, I have been living with this mentality. In EVERYTHING that I do, I do it with this in mind. Would I be a good and faithful servant by doing X? 

The way I see it, is at the end of the day, you have to judge if what you are doing is glorifying to Christ. If it brings him glory. Are you living for him?

This is all easy to say, but like I said earlier, it's when the rubber hits the road that you find out how strong your faith really is. 

I've had tests of faith throughout the year. Plenty of them. Things that I have had to cling to God to get through. I haven't done good on all of them, and I would be a liar if I said that I walked through them all perfectly. I didn't, and haven't, and I still stumble. Often. But those were little battles, in the grand scheme of things. You may recall (if you read this ever), that my last blog was a little bit on the emo side. That is the result of a man who was going through the hardest three days he had faced in a very, very long time. And honestly, for a second there, it didn't look like things were going to go so great. I was angry at God, angry at myself, and angry at life. In many ways, I was seeing God's plan, and not liking where it was going. In many ways, being perfectly honest, I still am struggling with where it is going. But I have this amazing friend, who encouraged me tremendously. He broke it down like this:

It's so easy to follow God when it's what you want. It's like you are going with the current. You have the power of God pushing you in a forward motion. It's when God's plan goes the complete opposite way of what you want that you decide what's important. What does your faith mean to you? Is it like a membership card that you parade around, doing good works for all to see? One of those things to have just so people like you? Or is it something that you swore to follow, no matter the cost. No matter what it meant to you or your well being. You may not get God's plan right now. You may never get it until the day you die. But what's it worth to you?

In a way, I'm finding out how hard it is to be a good, faithful servant. But you know I'm sure, for what it's worth, that whatever demons I'm facing right now, and whatever hardships there are, absolutely melt away. They are nothing when you can hear Christ say "Well done, my good and faithful servant." 

And that's the light at the end of this tunnel that shines no matter where I am.