Walls

It's a little crazy. My mind, I mean.

You take a concept, something so simple. It can be any concept that you want. I choose the concept of love. More specifically, the love of me. Not by me, but to me. By others, by God. I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt that by most in my life, I am loved. Any concept works. Take this concept, and visualize it.

Now make a second vision, of a thirteen inch pathway. The one from the city in your head to the city in your heart. It is a beautiful path, covered by many thoughts and feelings taking the form of people, passing each other, in a journey from one city to the other. Sometimes these travelers take time. Sometimes, they are in a full out sprint from one to the other. Regardless, they are always trying to move.

Now, that concept from earlier is a traveler on this road. This concept, in my case, the fact that I am loved, is constantly having to travel from one to the other. It is equally important in both cities, and it is very much a needed thing.

There is a third variable here. Quite simply put, it is you; your mind or conscious. Your own actions, thoughts, desires, temptations, and sin. They all affect the road, and the progress of this pathway. Sometimes positively, and sometimes negatively.

Two weeks ago, this pathway was an express highway; everyone working in stride, knowing each other, and actively working towards building the two cities up.

One week ago, all of the travelers paused in a single moment of silence, stopped their motion, and banded together to build an impassible wall in this road, and then went on to wreck the cities they once loved. All because I told them to.

Now, anyone who is actively involved in this story, sitting on the edge of their seat, captivated by the estranged story of my inner thoughts may ask, "Why build a wall and halt progress, moving backwards?"

I honestly don't know.

This week has been the panic of the people inside the cities, realizing what they have done, and looking to tear down the wall and rebuild the cities. But the sad truth of the matter is that they were working so hard building, that they have no energy left to work. They are spent, retired, and can't move. When it comes down to it, they don't work because they can't work.

The question now isn't why the wall was built, or why chaos ensued, it's what to do about it now. Workers who have no wills, tools with no hands to use them, and travelers with no road to move on. These aren't ideal conditions to move on. But it's what I have.

Remember that concept spoken of earlier; the one of love? It is not doing so well, given the conditions. Both the head and the heart need its message, but neither can get it. It is a lost cause, and is scared and alone. It is trying so desperately to tear down the wall, and out of everything, it is the only one still working. Piece by piece, it is picking away at the wall. It's hard to tell if it is making any difference. It seems hopeless.

However, yesterday, a stunning realization was made. This concept of love, working its heart out to tear down the wall, heard a voice. Not of my own creation, this voice was the voice of reason, calling from all sides of the wall. Both the head and the heart heard the faint voice with three simple words.

You. Are. Loved.

Again, over and over.

You are loved.

Ryan, you are loved.

Ryan, Listen to me. You. Are. Loved.

This voice, heard over and over, gave the city inhabitants a little bit of strength. Just a little. But one by one they stood up, and faced the wall. Still too tired to rally and destroy it. But with enough strength to move collectively again. Which is more than was expected to happen for a long time. It's a start.

This is where the story stands. Right now, there is still a lot of unanswered questions. And time will tell what happens. But I do know this, and for those that hate the end of a story spoiled, look away now:

That. Wall. Will. Fall.

It is a matter of time. I don't know how or when it will happen, but I swear it will. Until then, I will slowly rally the travelers and gather strength. They are tired, and feel like there is no hope, but they aren't out for the count yet. There is a light at the end. And one day soon, I will see it.

It's a little crazy. My mind, I mean.